All At Once

It was a late Wednesday evening and the table was surrounded by happy faces. Faces that were mere strangers not so long ago.
How did we get here? That’s the question that seems to cross my mind most often.
How is it that I know which one of them won’t like this dinner spot? How come I know which of them will outright deny going for a walk after? How do I know who will reach for the camera when the vibrant drink arrives? How is it possible that at least one of them gets all of my references? How do I know exactly what they are saying when they speak a language that isn’t mine? How is it that I feel so at home even when I am not?
How is it possible that it’s all coming to an end, just as soon as it started?

How would you describe six months? Maybe as half a year? Or 180 days? Or two-thirds of pregnancy time? Okay, that one is not very likely. Well, I would call it magical. Quite contradictory to what I was expecting six months ago – a hurdle. An uneventful period to get through before I get where I really want to be. Who knew my definition of where “I really want to be” would be redefined? If this is what all hurdles look like, may we all be blessed with such magical hurdles.

Change is the only constant, they say. I realized the truth of the quote that Wednesday night. The table can vouch for that. It has seen me amidst different circles over the years. From reuniting with old friends to meeting someone for the first time. From hanging out with my constants to running into vaguely familiar faces. From discovering a new friendship to letting go of a disconnected one. I had been completely oblivious to the role a table had to play in my life. But one unsuspecting night in June, it hit me, all at once.

We all have these moments. The role certain things play, the position certain people hold in our lives – we carry with us silently until one day it becomes glaringly obvious, all at once. We hold on to pieces we can’t let go of, until one day you realize it disappeared in bits every day. And just like that, you’re free, all at once.

I put together these “all at once” moments and call it life. For in these moments you witness the deepest fragments of life. This is where it is beautiful and raw. It is mystical and painful. It is deep and splendid. It is unapologetic and real. It is madness and disbelief. It is sunshine and majestic. It is all of this and more, all at once.
 

“No matter how you get there or where you end up, human beings have this miraculous gift to make that place home.”