The Hardest Part

Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And everything you do
Yeah they were all..

Ah, Coldplay. There isn’t a single situation that wouldn’t be happier with your songs on repeat. Not a day that wouldn’t be more ..yellow.

This morning though, was different. I put on my shoes, did a few stretches, grabbed my earphones and headed out the door. I began jogging as I plugged in the earphones.

It seemed like every other morning at first. My legs moved faster, the song picked up the pace, in perfect sync with the thud of my feet, but my spirits could barely catch up. Soon enough, my legs slowed down and the run turned into a walk that Coldplay could not keep up with. Try as you might Chris Martin, this girl was still miles from Paradise.

The miles that I had covered though, made me dive into this head full of dreams. I wondered why I had been feeling so little like myself lately, why the road I was on seemed so void of magic, why I couldn’t get myself to keep going. But most of all I wondered why everything changed. Would it have been easier with a warning sign? Would I feel less trapped at work? Would I ever move on from square one? Would I know when to stop trying? Would I know if I should ask him out? Would I know if I’ll be alright? How would I know?

Coldplay rang dully in the background.
I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called..

Ouch.

That’s when I looked up and saw that I had bumped right into this rather grumpy-looking man. Clearly embarrassed, I mouthed a barely audible “Sorry”. He didn’t respond for a really long time. Then his mouth curled into the slightest of smiles.

“Zero”, he said.

“Zero?”

“That’s how many seconds it takes to know.”