I see you, staring out the window with those distant eyes. I see you, scarring the pages of your book like it were your mortal enemy. I see you, with your eyes wide open at 4 a.m. I see you, lost in thought even when you nod along to someone’s chatter. I see you, constantly confused by the world we live in. I see you, hiding behind the veil that is your smile. I see you, wondering what it would be like to have a different life.
Well, I’m not going to lie. I do not know what that’s like – to spend your days wanting to disappear into nothing. I do, however, know what it is to feel like you are but a speck of dust in a universe full of giants. To constantly wonder where you would be, had you not made that silly little mistake. To spend nights thinking about matters of absolutely no significance. To do something you utterly love and enjoy, and still feel unfulfilled. To look at others and think how much better they all have it. To blame it all on life when things go south, and say it’s unfair.
There is also something that I have learned. Quite a few things actually.
Firstly, things are not as bad as you think. Believe me. And if you won’t, maybe you will believe the future version of you. One that’s thinking back to where you are now and saying “Man, I sure blew that out of proportion”. Things might hurt now, but only the prick of a needle can stitch things together.
Secondly, there is a certain satisfaction in smiling when everything is spiraling, in keeping your cool when everyone is waiting for you to explode, in standing tall when all you want to do is curl up in a corner. And you will find that things will get better because of it.
Thirdly, truly amazing things are passing you by just because you are so caught up in the whys and why nots of your life that you don’t take a second to look at them. When was the last time you watched a sunrise? The last time you got lost in the night sky? The last time you felt the cool breeze brush your skin? The last time you did anything that left the kid in you, in a trance?
Lastly, you are in this situation whether you scream your lungs out or you smile and let it pass. So tell me again, why you repeatedly choose the former?
So if you think your life is as plain as white, promise me you’ll look for the colors that it contains. And if all you see are shadows, turn around and you will see the light.
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